New York City. I was relieved to learn it
happens all the time. “Lots of men get
freaked out by witnessing childbirth,”
she told me. In most cases, she added,
it’s a temporary condition.
I asked what a guy could do to get
these unappetizing images out of his
head. Her suggestions: Try giving your
wife a massage to get you both in the
mood. Rub some perfume on her neck
or buy some jasmine essence, which is
said to be an aphrodisiac. You can also
bring chocolate-covered strawberries,
or other sexy foods, into bed and feed
each other. “If you’re having these
thoughts about a baby coming out of
there, you need to focus on something
else to stay aroused,” says Dr. Bartlik.
The food stuff sounded messy, so I
found some other ideas online: Kiss your
wife for ten seconds nonstop when you
walk in the door from work (much easier
to do if she’s not cradling your child);
play a song you used to make out to
(if you can still find the CD); rent an
erotic film (now we’re talking).
Or you could take a page from my
friend Jeff—he of the slaughterhouse
comment. He bought his wife racy
underwear to create some fresh,
arousing mental images—and to let her
know she might be a mama, but she’s
still a red-hot one. It worked.
One thing you definitely shouldn’t
do: discuss this complicated image
of your partner’s vagina with her. I
mean, there’s open and honest, and
then there’s just plain idiotic. “Don’t
make a new mother self-conscious
about her body,” Dr. Bartlik stresses.
(For that very reason I am taking the
precaution of writing this under a
pseudonym. I never told my wife about
my vagina aversion, and if she found out
now, she’d be so angry that the whole
idea of post-baby sex would become
moot in our bedroom.)
In the end, I was a lucky man. As my
wife’s body recovered from the ordeal
of childbirth, so too did I gradually
overcome my sex issues. Seeing my
wife nurse and care for our son wasn’t
a turnoff. Actually, it made her even
sexier and reminded me how lucky I
was to have married her. Sixty-seven
days after our son’s birth—but, really,
who’s counting?—we were back at
it. Bleary-eyed and out of practice
but back at it nonetheless. And I
didn’t even have to spring for the
chocolate-covered strawberries.
Want ideas for revving up your post-baby sex life? We’ll help you
both get in the mood at
parentsmag.com.
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Look closely at Charlotte and you’ll discover a lot. A lot of excitement at Carowinds. A lot to learn and experience at our museums and galleries.
And a lot of family bonding time at our parks. Find a lot more at 800-231-4636 or charlottesgotalot.com.
