QMy 2-year-old is going through a biting
phase. What should I do when she
sinks her teeth into one of her friends in front
of the child’s parent?
ASeparate the kids right away, and firmly say, “No! We don’t bite.”
Toddlers need lots of reminders to quit bad behaviors like this, and
reacting quickly shows the other parent that you don’t take the
situation lightly. Help calm the other child, and apologize to him and his mom
or dad. Chances are that their child has bitten or hit a friend too, so they
probably won’t be shocked or annoyed. (If you can get your kid to say she’s
sorry, great; if not, don’t force it.)
Q My friend has seemed very
depressed since she had her
baby. Is there any delicate way
to encourage her to get help?
A You’re smart not to keep your fears
to yourself: Postpartum depression
can be very serious, so you’re a good
friend to bring it up. Just try not to
ambush her. It’s better to ease into
the subject by starting a general chat
about how emotional giving birth can
be—maybe you weren’t happy 24/7
when you had your child, or you have
friends who felt the same way. Then
say, “I’m worried that you’ve seemed
depressed since you had Alex; you
might want to mention it to your
doctor. It’s a pretty common problem,
and she’ll be able to help.” Let your
friend know that you’re happy to run
errands for her or watch the baby so
she can get some sleep. If she brushes
off your concerns, it’s definitely
appropriate to talk to her husband. He
may be worried too, and he could call
her doctor for advice.
e e
Q When m heyr ftroiednddle’sr tsopdildlslesrosmpeilltshisnogminetahirnegstianuararnets,tmauy-
r frainet n,dshmeamkeaske thsethweaiwtearitoerr boursbbuosybo dy o daoll tahllethceleacl neianngi.ng.
Shouldn”t parents at least pitch in?
A YYeess.. YYoouurr ffrriieenndd ccaann aasskk tthhee sseerrvveerr ffoorr hheellpp,, bbuutt sshhee sshhoouulldd
at least try to sop up someof the spill with the napkins on
the table. It”s considerate,aannddititsshhoowwssyyoouurrcchhilidldtthhaattitit’s’s
important to clean up when she makes a mess.
Q I did a ton of work for the PTA
last year—to the point where I
felt taken advantage of. How do
I politely refuse this year?
A Try to say something positive when
you turn them down, such as, “I won’t
be able to help this time, but I really
enjoyed it last year,” or “I’m flattered
that you want me to do the job again,
but I can’t swing it.” Don’t say that you
felt overburdened last year, and don’t
make your “no” sound like a maybe
(“I guess I could do X if no one else
can”); you may find yourself swept up
in more than one project.
WRITE If you have questions
for Peggy Post, write
TO US to her c/o Parents, 375
Lexington Avenue, New
York, NY 10017, or e-mail her at manners@
parentsmag.com.
ALEXANDRA GRABLEWSKI. STYLING BY KRISTEN PETLISKI. GROOMING BY THORA FOR STILA COSMETICS AT ART HOUSE MANAGEMENT.
DRESS, PICAFLOR KIDS. SWEATER, KIKO KIDS. TEN T FROM LUC Y & MICHAEL; FROM MODERN NURSER Y.
